The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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