I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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