Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
