At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
