Jerry, you need to find god
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Couch. On fire.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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