I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
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Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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