and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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