How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All the doctor said was why
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
