They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
