I wish I only lived at night.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
