So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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