Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize