D3 body, D1 cock
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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