Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have fence marks all over my body
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize