I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
false alarm. still invincible.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
