We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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