nut hugger
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
