you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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