she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize