Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Randomize
Follow @tfln