Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.