He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.