is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
where am i from again
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO