I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
