How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
