Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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