She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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