i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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