I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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