Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
