where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
