How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
