I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
