He passed out mid-signature
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
