I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
