I heard we made out
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
