i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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