in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
