I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
