she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
