so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
