Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
