Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
