paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this just has baby written all over it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
