Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
