before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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