McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
