guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize