am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
