I just cut my nipple shaving
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize