you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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