Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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