I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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