The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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