I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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