well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
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Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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