No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
