I'm so fucking centered right now
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
