You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize