turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize