What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
